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Six Simple Ways to A Better Relationships Using Language

Say What???????

Language has power!  Our tone, our word choice, our feeling when we speak all shape our relationships.

Whether we are speaking to ourselves  (and we do! all the time!) or to others - the use of language can make all the difference.  Slow down......


First, take my short quiz.*  Then, have a look at language intellegence can change your life.


When you speak:



What effect do you most want to have?  

a) to be understood b) to create emotional closeness  c) to release feelings d) to create emotional distance

e) to influence a person or situation


How willing are you to self reflect on how you use language?

a) totally willing, I get it! b)don't tell me what to say, I know already c)depends, I could be open to it

how do you really sound when you are talking?

how tuned in are you to what your listener needs?

a)what has that got to do with it? b) okay - I hear it, maybe I need to think about that c) what difference will make? d) if that would help, I'll do it


How willing are you to take the lead? a) I'm not the one who has the issue  b) I shouldn't have to - I've done more than my share already c) If that's what it takes, I'll figure out how 

How do you feel about the person you are speaking to?  a) hmmm - not sure, why?  b) lots of resentment, I've about had it  c) sorry for them, they just don't see things right d) good feelings e) dependant on what s/he does and/or thinks of me f) 

what are expectations?



What if I don't want to say it better?  What if I can't? 

resentment, punishment, human responses

a different path


ise O state,emts old stand by

get curious before you get hurt - big C in my office (photo!) in your own mind

object neutal statemnts  

identify, affirm and ask  (what can do be helpful, how can I show you I am trying?)






*answers based on an informal survey.


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